Posts Tagged ‘Hallowe’en’

h1

Top 15 totally unexpected alternate endings for “Battlestar Galactica”

March 26, 2009

Ah, the post-mortem phase of a TV series. Everybody (us included) is weighing-in these days on BSG’s finale, offering their woulda/shoulda/coulda speculations about alternatives to the ending viewers were given. And some are pretty creative. We decided to take it into the realm of the absurd. Here are some of our suggestions for ways the final episode could have ended that would really have surprised viewers:

15) Starbuck turns out to be an angel, Baltar and Six are angels – kind of. And Apollo’s an angel. And Rosalin and Adama are angels. Yeah, yeah. Everyone’s an angel. Isn’t that what your preschool teacher told you?

14) A group of Colonial settlers comes over a rise to find several dozen Earthlings crouched around a mysterious black monolith, thoughtfully swinging the animal bones they’ve just learned can help them get meat.

13) Galactica jumps into the vicinity of the black hole ready for a fight, only to find Cavil’s already fallen victim to the recession and a force more powerful than a legion of centurions – mortgage bankers – has put a “foreclosure/repossessed” sign on the Cylon colony’s front gate.

12) The Fleet finds Earth – not during the early days of mankind, but during the era of the dinosaurs, which are too many and too dangerous to permit colonization… that is until Baltar looks out a porthole, spots a passing asteroid and says “Do you know, I think I have an idea…”

11) Things look grim for the Colonials as their marine boarding party seems overwhelmed by enemy centurions, when suddenly, lawyers for Warner Brothers appear armed with lawsuits ordering NBC to shut the Cylon colony down for looking too much like a Shadow vessel from Babylon 5.

Read the rest of this entry ?

h1

Top 5 bad martian invasions from film & TV we’d rather forget

October 29, 2008

As a little warm-up for tomorrow’s online challenge, Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds, here are some examples of the worst the planet Mars has thrown at us, through film and TV.

5. Mars Attacks
This spoof of classic alien invasion movies had it all: a big budget, decent (for its time) special effects, an all-star cast (including some members who actually had talent), and a solid PR campaign. All it was missing was laughs. It tried so damn hard – too hard (and yeah, I know it wasn’t taking itself seriously, and it wasn’t supposed to), and every funny opportunity fell flat. This flick also loses points for paying homage to “Attack of the Killer Tomatos” with the use of terrible music at the end to defeat the Martians by causing their heads to explode. It was different, and only slightly bearable, the first time around when it was done on ‘Tomatos, but the annoyance factor was way too high this time.

4. Spaced Invaders
On Hallowe’en night, a Martian scout craft, part of a massive battle fleet preparing to engage another alien enemy, goes astray and crashes on Earth. The befuddled, big-headed, half-sized warriors emerge, meet a little girl, and… a really bad movie ensues. I know this was a kid’s film, and so a heavy dose of cuteness and cheezy humour goes with the territory, but most of the time it didn’t work. Didn’t help that the guy voicing the Martian pilot was clearly trying his best to do a Nicholson impression and couldn’t pull it off to save his life. The movie had one redeeming virtue in the form of this line from the Earthling heroine: “They’re not evil, they’re just stupid.” Yup. Kinda like the people who put this flick together, and, admittedly, those of us who actually watched it (even if I only saw it on the TV movie channel!).

3. War of the Worlds – the TV series
How many seasons was this bastardized sequel to George Pal’s enjoyable 1950’s reimagining of HG Well’s classic allowed to run? 2?!? Shows you what SF fans and audiences in general were willing to put up with at the end of the 80’s during the desert period of TV science fiction when “Star Trek – The Next Generation” was pretty much the only thing on. This damn thing shouldn’t have lasted more than 2 episodes. I mean, come-on, full-sized Martians killing people, crawling inside them and running around in the meatbags to do their dirty work? Wouldn’t it be enough to take over a transmitter, send a signal home and call for reinforcements for another open attack? And why was it that the general public on the show – set in the same world as Pal’s film, with the invasion firmly in its past – have completely forgotten about said 50’s near-annihilation of the human species? Then there was the standard “scary” reveal when the Martian three-fingered hand would come ripping out of the meatbag’s chest to snag a new victim, in what was a truly pathetic rip-off of the chestburster from “Alien”. Oh, and let’s not forget how it all started: some sort of terrorist attack or criminal heist or something targetting an allegedly secret government warehouse causes a bunch of 40-gallon drums to get knocked over, releasing supposedly dead Martians who proceed to wake up, kill some people, then steal one of their flying war machines, power it up, and go sailing out the door and into – well, wherever it was they went to find some victims to make into meatbags, instead of doing the smart thing like going home to get reinforcements. So Martians that were most definitely dead at the end of the 50’s invasion are now suddenly spry and ready for action? This wasn’t “War of the Worlds” – it was “The Princess Bride”! They weren’t dead – they were “only mostly dead. And mostly dead is slightly alive.” Mostly dead, but all bad.

2. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
What can I say about this ultimate stinker that hasn’t already been said, except that I pity the older generation of SF fans and general movie-goers who might have actually suffered through this in the theatre. Seeing late one night on TV (I think it was “Sci-Fi Friday” on KSTW before it was taken over by one of the new networks) was bad enough. The presence of a pre-Trek Leonard Nimoy is probably testament to young actors willing to do anything for screen time.

1. Invaders from Mars – the 80’s remake
This mightily steaming pile of cinematic excressence defeats even “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians” for the not-remotely-coveted number one spot on this list because not only was it bad all over the place, it was an insult to the competant 1953 Cold War infiltration/subversion paranoia movie that inspired it!

 

On another note…
Remember to join in the fun tomorrow, Thursday, October 30th – the 70th anniversary of Orson Welles’ “War of the Worlds” broadcast by taking part in our online challenge: Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds. Come to Not A Planet Anymore and let us know you’re in – then, if you’ve got a blog, start blogging as though the Martians were really invading. If you let us know what your blog’s address is, we’ll add a link to our list of participants so others can click over to your site to read about what’s happening in your part of the world. Don’t have a blog of your own? No problem, just leave comments on any of our Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds posts here on Not A Planet Anymore, or any of the other participants’ sites, and we’ll count you in too. Let us know in the comments section how you’re faring as the Martian tripods wreak havoc. Then, on Hallowe’en, as a special treat, we’ll post highlights from all of the participants. Join us tomorrow for Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds!

h1

One week left until “Blog Like it’s the War of the Worlds”!

October 24, 2008

The Martians are invading in 7 days. What are you going to do?

Join in the pre-Hallowe’en mayhem and take part in our online challenge: Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds. Here’s how you can take part on October 30th:

Leave a comment here letting us know that you’re in. We’ll add your blog to our list of participants here on Not A Planet Anymore so people coming here to Martian headquarters can click over to your site.

Then, on October 30th, if you’ve got a blog, post to it as though the Martians were actually invading. Tell us what’s happening in your community/your part of the world. Tell us what the Martians in their tripods with heat rays and gas and red weed are up to. Tell us how you’re managing to survive.

Don’t have a blog? That’s okay, you can participate too. Just leave comments on the Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds posts here on Not A Planet Anymore or one of the other participating blogs and tell us what’s happening in your neck of the woods.

As for us, we’ll be keeping on top of things here on Not A Planet Anymore, telling you what’s happening in our little piece of wreckage, and what we’ve heard from the rest of you. Over on bloginhood, I’ll be filing notes on my attempt to survive the invasion. For his part, harrysaxon will be Twittering away for all he’s worth.

Once it’s all over, on October 31st, we’ll survey all of the participating blogs and comments and post the highlights here on Not A Planet Anymore as a Hallowe’en treat.

Remember, the more people that take part, the more fun this will be. 

We’re staging this little electronic event in honour of the 70th Anniversary of Orson Welles’ infamous 1938 “War of the Worlds” broadcast. Welles went to air with a production based on the classic novel of the same name by H.G. Wells, concocting a story about Martian war machines touching down in New Jersey and wreaking havoc as the first stage of an all-out invasion. People who tuned in late thought they were hearing real breaking news updates.

We were also inspired by My Elves Are Different, which, for the past couple of years has been staging a successful online challenge called Blog Like It’s the End of the World, set amidst a sudden zombie apocalypse. We thought this kind of online challenge was so cool we’d like to try it with Martians. The timing of the 70th Anniversary of the Welles broadcast made it too good to pass up.

So let us know you’ll take part in the Martian invasion (or, be on the receiving end of it, anyway) and then join us on October 30th for Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds!

h1

Countdown: 21 days until the Martians invade!

October 9, 2008

Be sure you’ve signed up to take part in our online challeng: Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds. Just add your blog’s address in the comments box and tell us you’re in and we’ll add you to the roster here on our Homepage. On October 30th, post like the Martians from H.G. Wells’ “The War of the Worlds” are really invading. Tell us what’s happening in your town as the extraterrestrial tripods trip through, wielding heat rays and gas weapons, snatching citizens for entrees, and leaving a trail of red weeds. By checking the participants’ roster here on Not A Planet Anymore, you’ll be able to follow blogs in other parts of the world. We’ll keep track of all the participants and when it’s over we’ll post highlights from all of your blogs.

We’ve embarked on this silly online odyssey to pay homage to Orson Welles, whose famous October 30, 1938 broadcast scared the pants out of thousands who tuned into his radio play late and thought it was the real thing.

The inspiration for doing a blogging challenge on this theme came from My Elves Are Different, which, for a couple of years now, has organized an annual summer zombie apocalypse called Blog Like It’s The End Of The World.

So hide the children, lock your doors, watch the skies, and join us for Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds! Sign up today!

h1

Online challenge: “Blog Like it’s the War of the Worlds”!

October 2, 2008

To celebrate the launch of Not A Planet Anymore we’re issuing a special challenge to all of you out there in the blogosphere:

Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds!

The blogging challenge takes place on October 30th – the 70th anniversary of Orson Welles’ famous War of the Worlds radio play – a production that had thousands of late-arriving listeners believing the Martians were invading.

If you have a blog, on October 30th we want you to blog like the Martians (the kind that Welles borrowed from H.G. Wells) are actually invading. Tell us what things are like in your town (whether you’re in Woking, Grover’s Mill, Edmonton, Courtenay, Etobicoke, Houston, Berlin, Adelaide, Beijing or anywhere else) as the Martian tripod war machines march through with their heat rays and poison gas, snatching human snacks off the streets and leaving a wake of destruction and red weeds. Be sure to pass the word along to all of your blogging friends so we can make this War of the Worlds truly world-wide!

Register beforehand with us by responding to this post in the Comments section. Tell us you’re in and give your blog’s address. We’ll add your blog to a list of sites around the world reporting the Martian invasion, so other people can read of your exploits. After it’s all over, as a Hallowe’en treat, we’ll post some of the highlights from the different blogs here on Not A Planet Anymore.

The inspiration for this online adventure came from the site My Elves Are Different, which has been hosting an annual zombie apocalypse-themed challenge called “Blog Like It’s The End Of The World”. We thought it was such a great idea that it ought to be adapted for an alien invasion – and with the anniversary of Welles’ little pre-Hallowe’en show on the horizon, we just couldn’t resist.

To get all of you in the mood for this challenge, here’s a link to Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast on Youtube (broken into convenient segments that allow for bathroom breaks).

Join the fun – take part in “Blog Like It’s The War Of The Worlds” on October 30th!